By John Coulombe

I was visiting my 96 year-old friend, Elsie Heuer, in the nursing home where she lived the past three years. They were cleaning her room and had wheeled her into the hallway. When I arrived she was slumped over, fast asleep, unable to respond to me rubbing her arm. Realizing I couldn’t stir her, I engaged in a brief conversation with her roommate, Beulah. As I turned to leave, I saw Elsie’s eyes open, so headed back her direction. Her eyes caught mine; she was confused, couldn’t identify me and I knew she couldn’t hear me since her ears had long ago ceased to pick up sounds. I felt uncomfortable. What should I do? Leave, speak to her, read the Scriptures, say something “spiritual”? And then this idea came to my heart: “John, don’t rush out; don’t try to say something profound; just give her the gift of your presence.” I wheeled Elsie back to her room. Beulah followed and we just sat, looking at each other for a seemingly endless time.

After the quiet time was no longer uncomfortable, I took Elsie’s and Beulah’s hands and prayed, assuming Elsie still didn’t recognize me and couldn’t hear my prayer. As I stood up to leave, she looked knowingly into my eyes. Her Irish twinkle returned and with exuberance, she blurted out, “I love it when you come visit me!” As I went to my car my eyes were full and my heart was near bursting. I sat for a few moments, and then quietly began to sob. That was Monday morning. Elsie died early that Thursday at 1:50 a.m. Who would have known this would have been an unrepeatable, Spirit– directed moment?

James Kok, a pastor friend at the Crystal Cathedral, has reminded me that “90% of caring is just showing up.” Being cared for is a basic ingredient of life. The Apostle Paul reminded a church to not lose heart in doing good . . . and while they still had opportunity, to do good to all men, especially to those of the household of faith (Gal.6:9-10).

One of the things Ev. Free Church does best is care, and we have many ministries that do just that: One on One for One, a brand new ministry where one person commits to visiting and calling one person for just one year; VIPS—Volunteers in Pastoral Service; Alongside, our memorial service ministry; Parish Nurses; Family Fix-It Day; Forget-Me-Not and Difference Makers, ministering in nursing homes; Second Wind; Feast and Family; COMI; Upbeat, for those with heart ailments; Disabilities Ministry; Cancer Support Group; Grief Group; Good Samaritan Center; Celebrate Recovery; Lay Counseling; Royal Family Kids Camp; Pen Pals; Sunday Drivers and Divorce Recovery to name just some!

So what more do we need? More people to serve! The needs are still great and increasing. Let’s remember the words of George Washington Carver: How far you can go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong—because some day in life you will have been all of these.

Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another… casting all your cares on Him because He cares for you . . .Greet one another with the kiss of love.(From 1 Pet.5).

John Coulombe has served for 20 years as Pastor to Senior Adults at First Evangelical Free Church, Fullerton CA