In my most recent blog, I reminded us of the once-upon-a-time familiarity of “Ozzie and Harriet,” “Leave It To Beaver and “Father Knows Best,” and how through the years millions enjoyed television’s depiction of the 2-parent 2-child traditional home. Christmas reveled in happy families with high values on unity and togetherness. Then, with the help of columnist Jonathan Merritt, I pointed up the subsequent television transformation of the American family.
We ask ourselves, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” We look for someone to blame for the state we are in. This can’t be our doing. Can it? The schools? Society? God-forbid, could it be the church? Is the entertainment industry the only major player in America’s fractured family syndrome? Or is it simply the mirror of our own selfish shortsightedness and bad choices? Is this Christmas a time for despair or repair?
Do most of us even have a clue as to what has happened in the last fifty years?
Interviewer Brennen Jensen recently reported for AARP on current “family clans who embody our country’s changing ideas about what kinship is.”
In the 1950s, when boomers were kids, “60% of US families consisted of two married parents: a breadwinner and a homemaker. Today only 20% of American children live in such a family.”
While the divorce rate is declining among younger couples, it has increased among boomers by 50% in the last 20 years.
In 1970, 40% of American households consisted of a married couple and their children, while in 2013, this is a reality in only 19% of homes.
In 1960, 72% of adults were married; in 2012, only 51%.
In 1960, 5% of births were by unmarried women; in 2012, 41%.
In 1960, 12% of Americans lived in multigenerational households; in 2009, 17%.
In 1967, the Supreme Court ruled laws banning interracial marriage (still held by some states at the time) were unconstitutional. Today 15% of all new marriages are of mixed race.
In 2003, Massachusetts was the first state to recognize same-sex marriage. As of June 2014, 17 states and the District of Columbia allowed gay couples to wed; and 21% of same-sex households include children.
The average age of first marriage keeps rising. It is now 26.6 for women, 29 for men.
Many young adults return home after graduation, before beginning careers or new families. Fifty-one percent of men, ages 18-24, and 47% of women, lived with their parents in 2010.
Will “Ozzie and Harriet” ever represent the majority household in America again? The decline in divorce among younger couples gives one hope. But no, I don’t think we will return to the 1950s televised concept of family life. The fact is, it wasn’t totally true back then. I grew up on the farm in a traditional 40s/50s “O&H” family; my wife grew up in the city in an abusive household, divided by divorce.
Today in my own family’s four generations, we see ourselves in most all of the above. We are not the “O&H” family I grew up in. We have contributed to painful reiterations of the statistics depicted above. Maybe this is true for you as well. Few, if any of us have escaped. The fabric of the American family has been torn.
So what will our Millennials do with what we’ve passed on to them? Maybe they will do better. This should be our prayer, and a focus of sincere effort on our part for them and for their children.
There is one more thing.
No millennial age young adult should ever feel they have to go it alone. That nobody else understands or cares. Not ever! It is up to those of us in life’s second half to help show the way, to point out pitfalls all too familiar, to show trust instead of mistrust, to offer a shoulder to cry on, to guide these wonderful, but sometimes troubled young people to the Jesus who loves them even more passionately than we do; the Jesus who is rooting for them, whether they are single or married, to win out and to not become another sad statistic!
No, Ozzie and Harriet will not be celebrating Christmas this year. Not like they used to. It will be different for them and for so many others. Perhaps for you.
This is a season to remember. Not just a painful past or a troubled present, but the reason for the season. Remember when Jesus first appeared in the “dark of night of the world’s soul?” Think of it. He came with light and life and music and wonder, and a heaven full of hope backing up who he was to become and what he came to do! So, however and wherever you serve your family and others in this world, whatever your circumstances or theirs may be, celebrate Jesus; let the Christ of Christmas fill your heart with joy unspeakable!
2. See more in AARP The Magazine, June/July 2014: Interviews by Brennen Jensen.
Leave A Comment