On December 21, in the early morning darkness following a night of rainfall, GAGE the wonder dog and I begin making our way along a series of cement steps in Downtown Park, near my home. Suddenly my foot slips on a damp spot, thrusting me forward in the air, before hitting and bouncing down more steps until reaching the pavement at the bottom. Whether audibly or only in my mind I am uncertain, but with my body falling forward, the words I hear are crystal clear—

“YOU CAN’T STOP!”

Few things are more frightening, more devastating, than being out of control, unable to stop! Whether driving a car, dealing with a drug addiction, or falling down a series of steps. “Out of control” is where some of your family or friends are right now. Maybe even you?

Stunned and unable to move, I can hear my phone but cannot reach it. I see GAGE standing nearby, watching silently, wondering what has just happened and what is next. I call out for help, but no one hears. Several minutes pass before a young man out walking his dog, from one of the many apartments close by, stops to ask, “Are you okay, mister?”

HELPING THE HELPLESS

There follows a 911 call, and with lights and siren, I am rushed by people I do not know to Overlake Hospital ER. Here more strangers who are good at what they do, set about keeping me alive by stabilizing my shocked body systems. As the day progresses, more of these “uninvited” people determine the right ulna and humerus bones are broken and my once functioning elbow is now in pieces, shattered by the impact of my fall. Deep purple bruising is forming all along my right side. There is one thing for which I am immediately grateful—I didn’t hit my head!   

Late that night, initial surgery debrides and closes my open hand and arm wounds. I return home the following day, but as compression swelling and pain increases during the interim, Christmas Day is spent back in ER, in order to give relief, where more strangers who volunteered for holiday duty cut off Friday’s splint and start over.  

On January 5, my new year begins with a complicated 6-hour surgery, during which a metal elbow is set in place, since my own is unrepairable. Regretfully, but under advisement from my doctors and after a lengthy discussion with my children, I cancel my January-February speaking engagements, together with plans to visit a number of ministry colleagues with whom I have ministered and/or mentored in ministry over the years. My once full calendar is suddenly squeaky clean.

NEW BEST FRIENDS

I shall miss connecting with my old friends, at least for now. However, new “best friends” coming alongside to help me in a long run of physical therapy treatments are about to provide a calendar refill for the weeks and months ahead. I’m beginning to realize how challenging this has become.

I smile at Neal Armstrong’s, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” understanding that I, too, am a ‘first;’ the first human being to plunge headfirst down the newly constructed Downtown Park gateway steps. Maybe not a world transforming step like Neal’s on the moon, but a definite game changer for me. 

I am also reminded of words written by American poet, psychoanalyst, and post-trauma recovery specialist, Clarissa Pinkola Estés

[1]:

                  The Prayer

                  Refuse to fall down

                  If you cannot refuse to fall down,

                  refuse to stay down.

                  If you cannot refuse to stay down,

                  lift your heart toward heaven,

                  and like a hungry beggar,

                  ask that it be filled.

                  You may be pushed down.

                  You may be kept from rising.

                  But no one can keep you from lifting your heart

                  toward heaven—

                  only you.

                  It is in the middle of misery

                  that so much becomes clear.

                  The one who says nothing good

                  came of this,

                  is not yet listening.

I am amazed at the many old friends and new who have been affected, however briefly, by one small misstep on my part. As for me, to what purpose all this will point, only God knows. At least for now, perhaps the most important thing has been for the Three-in-One God to regain my full attention. This he most assuredly has!

REFUSE TO FALL DOWN

If your life is out of control—you know you are falling and you just can’t stop—

                  refuse to stay down.

                  If you cannot refuse to stay down,

                  lift your heart toward heaven,

                  and like a hungry beggar, 

                  ask that it be filled.

Believe this with me, the HELPER is out early this morning. I hear him calling, “Are you okay?” If you’ll give him an honest answer, I can assure you, help is already on the way (John 3:16)!

ONE FINAL NOTE

Sadly, my spring training tryout in Arizona as a starting pitcher for the Seattle Mariners looks ‘iffy’ now. Too bad. Based on results from last year’s lineup, they need all the help they can get. (With this note it’s important for you to understand—it is my humerus, not my humorous bone that is broken🥴.)

Blessings. Be safe.

[1]Clarissa Pinkola Estes, from The Faithful Gardener: A Wise Tale About That Which Can Never Die