“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”
— A. W. Tozer

There are certain sentences that stay with you for a lifetime.

This is one of them.

I’ve been thinking about it again lately. After nearly ninety years of living, loving, pastoring, watching families grow, celebrating weddings, and sometimes walking with families through heartbreak, I’m more convinced than ever that A. W. Tozer was right.

Yes, we think life’s greatest decisions are whom we’ll marry, where we’ll live, what career we’ll pursue, or whether we’ll have children. Those are important decisions and shape the course of our lives.

But there is one decision that comes before all the others.

Who is God?

Not simply, do I believe he exists, but who is he to me?

Where does he sit in the throne room of my life? Is he an occasional advisor I consult when life becomes difficult, or is he the Lord to whom I gladly surrender every part of my life?

Dixie loved Tozer’s words. Whenever we taught on marriage, she always found a way to include this quotation. It wasn’t merely a favorite saying. It was how she lived.

Over the years, I’ve become convinced that the healthiest Christian marriages are not built primarily on compatibility, personality, or even shared dreams. They are built on two people who are continually moving toward Christ.

As they do, they discover something beautiful. They are moving closer to one another.

Walk into almost any bookstore, and you’ll find shelves lined with books on marriage and family. Some are excellent. They offer wisdom born from experience and careful study. We need that kind of help.

Sometimes, however, we also need to laugh.

Mark Twain once wrote, “When a kid turns thirteen, stick him in a barrel, nail the lid on, and feed him through the hole. When he turns sixteen, plug the hole.”

He also observed that by the time he was twenty-one, he was amazed at how much his father had learned in just a few short years.

Parents smile because beneath Twain’s humor lies an uncomfortable truth. Raising a family is joyful. It is also exhausting. So is building a lasting marriage.

Every generation faces its own challenges. Ours included hurried lives, constant distractions, financial pressures, digital noise, and a culture that often treats commitment as something temporary instead of something sacred

Faithful love has never been easy, but it has always been worth it.

A psychologist friend once said something years ago that I’ve never forgotten: “Sometimes all a Christian marriage has going for it is commitment …”

He didn’t need to finish the sentence.

This quietly establishes one of the theological foundations beneath The Cain Family Chronicles. Readers will recognize the same underlying conviction: that what people believe about God determines how they respond to fear, temptation, suffering, forgiveness, power, and hope. In fiction and in truth, this is dramatized. The two complement one another beautifully.

It’s true.

There are seasons when feelings are fragile.

There are seasons when circumstances are overwhelming.

There are seasons when two people simply cannot see beyond today’s disappointment.

In these seasons, it is often commitment, grounded in God’s faithfulness, that quietly carries them until love finds its strength again.

So let me ask you a simple question.

How are you doing?

If your marriage and family are in a good season, stop for a moment and thank God. Gratitude has a remarkable way of protecting the gifts we too easily take for granted.

If this is a difficult season, don’t surrender to discouragement.

Reach out.

God has surrounded His people with pastors, wise counselors, trusted friends, and caring Christian communities because none of us was meant to carry life’s burdens alone.

And don’t overlook what may be the greatest resource of all.

Pray together.

Not merely about one another. Pray with one another.

There is something deeply transforming about a husband and wife standing together before the Lord, acknowledging their need for His wisdom, His grace, His forgiveness, and His strength.

Life reminds us that every marriage has its moments of joy and its moments of struggle.

Ours certainly did.

But I’ve also learned this: The strongest marriages I have known were not held together because two people had everything in common. They endured because they shared something greater than themselves.

They shared Christ.

Perhaps that’s why Tozer’s words have never grown old for me.

What comes into our minds when we think about God really is the most important thing about us.

Everything else flows from that one decision.

 

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“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
—Matthew 6:33

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A Small Favor

If you’ve read and enjoyed one of my latest books, may I ask a small favor? Consider leaving a brief review on Amazon. It doesn’t need to be long; two or three honest sentences about what you enjoyed—or how the story affected you—can help another reader decide whether to begin the journey. Every thoughtful review becomes part of the conversation and is a gift to both the author and future readers.

Thank you for reading… and for walking this road with me.

—Ward